It all started with Will finding Rachel’s stash in the fridge - bright green, organic, calling out to him. Ever since, he's been addicted and needs a fix at least weekly.
Not to tire the metaphor more, but we think your best bet is to approach Juice Laundry as if you’re buying a bag of excellent weed: get in, score, be on your way. We say this with love, but like a dealer with the best sh*t in town, Juice Laundry can afford its service to be occasionally disheveled or aloof because the high caliber of their product keeps us coming back for more.
The non-illicit analog is at play here. Juice Laundry has the best sh*t in town. And we can’t get enough of it.
Recs + Rants
Let’s get the rants out of the way first...
Go with the flow. To get the goods you have to weather a few odd nuances. Our virgin visits, we were a little confounded by the lack of cadence but eventually accepted it for the grab-and-go that it is and enjoyed the healthy fix. It’s not nearly as intimidating as ordering a cheesesteak at Pat’s, but there are a few curves you should know how to navigate before you go.
Shop the cooler. Up front near the counter is a giant cooler stocked with bottled cold-pressed juices, ginger shots and seasonal salads. It’s a glorious sight, especially if you’re coming off a stretch of eating terrible food or putting your liver to the test. You should know the only things made to order are smoothies and smoothie bowls (see below). Everything else is in the cooler - juices, salads, puddings, shots. Those salads being made in a production line behind the counter? Not for you. We asked and were pointed to the cooler’s packaged salads, which turned out to be perfectly fine, but damn those freshies looked more appealing.
Time and temperature. Before you break the seal on a bottled juice or nut milk from the cooler, ask what time your choice was stocked. More than once we’ve cracked one to find it room temperature at first taste. When we requested a cup of ice, no dice - they don’t offer it. If you’re paying a justified premium for these, like us you probably want them cold, so ask first.
No need to loiter. Unless you really need to sit and scarf something down, you probably don't want to stick around. The dining-in experience dilutes the healthy good vibes with blaring music and the sense you’re encroaching on the team’s workspace. While we dig the sweet sounds of Jimmy Cliff and totally understand that the roaring blenders make it hard for staff to hear the grooves, the result is sometimes a disconcerting mashup that drives you toward the exit. Instead, park yourself at the picnic tables out front of Timbercreek Market and pair some fresh air with your fresh juice.
It's hard to hold any these quirks against The Juice Laundry folks though. We can all relate to the tenet of laundry: doing it is easy; sorting, folding and putting it away is the hard part. They'll get there.
Now that we’ve established that, onto the good stuff. Our recs...
- Clean Green - kale, spinach, cucumber, celery, apple, parsley, ginger, lemon - Not unlike most green juices you’ve tried, but something pops in this one. We stood it up to the Whole Foods version and it tasted more alive.
- Creamy Cashew - filtered water, raw cashews, dates, vanilla bean, cinnamon, pink salt - Kills your hunger headache and turns that hangry frown upside down. If you're starved and dragging, rock the Cold Brew Latte version of this one for some caffeination.
- What’s in the bowl, bitch? The Acai Smoothie Bowls are dope. It’s basically any smoothie in a bowl with acai subbed in as a superfood thickening agent topped with banana, granola, chia seeds and another optional fruit. Little Miss Muffet would crush it!
- Road to Redemption - If you hit the other bottle too hard last night, a Fire Shot 3 (turmeric, ginger, oregano oil) will bring you back from degenerate status. Before this act of contrition make absolutely sure to pound a Creamy Cashew or a Superman Smoothie (blueberries, dragon fruit, goji berries, dates, banana, house almond milk) to line the stomach or else you will ruin a perfectly nice pair of shoes where you stand.
- Cleanse Program - Juice Laundry offers three different cleanse systems stacked with a thoughtfully prescribed set of juices and shakes that we have yet to try but have earmarked for post-holiday gluttony recovery this year.
- Bottle Recycling - *fist bump* - You get a credit of 25 cents per bottle returned. Good looking out!
- Internets - Great website. Super informative, educational, thoughtful.
Bottom Line: The juice is the truth but the store experience needs a little polish. In time, they’ll find their groove and so will we. Meantime, at least the staff is friendly and always miles of smiles. One thing is certain - you will leave loving yourself.